Reg

Realizations

I am so glad I live alone. I was at Colin's house tonight and I had to go home because he doesn't have a bed so we were sharing his small couch and his roommates were arguing. I do not miss having roommates, not one bit. Really not at all.

Having my own place is the best thing I have ever done for myself. Colin's living situation in which he shares a room with his son reminded me what my life was like when I was a child and helps me gain perspective on a lot. I shared a room with my Mom for most of my childhood. By the time I was a teenager I could not get enough alone time. As an adult I am finally in not just a room where I have to overhear people or be overheard with no privacy; I am in my own apartment with a great deal of privacy and no one to intrude on my mental space. I leave when I want to and invite people over when I want to. It is great.
light, create, hand

If I close my eyes I'm on the beach in Monterey Bay

no title

Wish I was here right now.

Feeling such a heavy heart and so sensitive today. A song comes on from the one I still love who doesn't love me back and I feel like crying. I make the alarm in the office go off on accident and my heart rate doesn't slow back down for like 45 minutes. I make a small communication mistake at work and I am on edge about my boss' anger. Yesterday my coworkers forgot my 4 year work anniversary after one of us got a vegan cheesecake and candles during his a couple months ago. I even sent a reminder email last month about my GP anniversary. I am PMSing. I opened up about the effects I've internalized from working in a male dominated workplace yesterday and cried to the same male boss I fear the anger of. I told my boss I was yelled at by subordinate and he hasn't done anything. I don't want to face anyone. I am broke. This is a hard day.
  • Current Location: Office
  • Current Mood: anxious anxious
  • Current Music: Hey Jude
see/think

Novel Writing

Writers do everything in order to get words out of us. There are endless words inside us and any act in life that does not foster a healthy flow of their expression is a hindrance to our happiness.

I like the butcher paper idea of a giant plot timeline for my apartment walls. I live alone. I may as well make the most of my potential writing space.

I want to write unafraid of writing anything! I think the Magna Cartas will help me out a lot in steering things and making quick decisions.

I am in the third decade of my novel's life. This is the one wth the most clear skies. I cannot wait to get a new computer. I am definitely going to write out all my character's names and put them on my bedside table. I'm so looking forward to my bike being rideable and bringing a notebook and pen with me on rides. It is crazy how little it has rained in Portland so far this Oct, Nov and Dec. I fucking love it.
Forest, beautiful purple sky, oxygen, biologically productive, widsom

LIfe Goal

I forgot about this one for a number of years! Time to draft a new bucket list.


THE LIST

See Angel Falls, the highest water fall in the world.

To be continued...