Rainbow

Gross food dream

I had a very disturbing dream last night. I dreamt that I went into an Asian restaurant and they served me a plate of sample sushi all made out of mice/rats and very creatively rolled. I ate one! And after it was already in my mouth or I had swallowed it, I realized what it was made out of it. So gross.

When dreaming about food, it's good to ask...

Are we in need of nourishment, either spiritually or emotionally?
What are we doing in life to feed our soul, or to feed our imagination?
How are we ensuring we have enough energy to get through a difficult time?
How in touch with our body and feelings are we?

I think right now I need to feed my imagination. That's why the sushi rolls were so creative and resourceful. Every roll looked different like art. I also need to ensure I have enough energy getting through the very difficult time still transitioning into be a new CC. I need to stay in touch with my body and feelings. Recently my arthritis has been so bad. Being in air conditioning all the time and only canvassing 2-3 days per week in the sun is putting me in a lot of pain.

Orientation days are so draining. We are doing them 3 weeks per month and retention recently has been rough. I wanted to do a social yesterday night and it totally slipped my mind. We have so few people in our office right now and we are trying to staff people on door but don't have enough drivers this week. We are losing all of our TLs. Shit is getting real challenging. We never hit a sustained big FTE this Summer. I think the CCs and RD are all disappointed about it.
Rainbow

Your Name

Alyse your name rhymes with world peace
You have been holding the world on your shoulders
since you learned how to read early at age 4.
Give yourself a break
Because even the world's rivers have breaks
They're called deltas

Alyse your name rhymes with niece
You have 3 of them.
They're their own people
Calm your shit. Read to them you have.
Girls gotta be shown it's a ball to break
to be a girl but fuck it is a ball so have it

Alyse your name rhymes with quiche
Feed yourself everything you love
You're #1 at nurturing you
Pull up a chair
Let yourself soak in nourishment
In all the moments
When you don't want to admit
You're hungry
Street, Heartbeat, Lennon

Most Iconic songs of my Generation

Vogue- Madonna
Closer- NIN
Nothing Compares to You- Sinead O'Conor
I Want it That Way- Backstreet Boys
Baby Got Back- Sir Mix a Lot
Bittersweet Symphony- The Verve
Waterfalls- TLC
Baby One More Time- Britney Spears
Smells Like Teen Spirit- Nirvana
Under the Bridge- RHCP
No Scrubs- TLC
Wannabe- Spice Girls
Can't Touch This- MC Hammer
Lauryn Hill- Doo Wop
This is How We Do It- Montell Jordan
California Love- 2pac
Underneath it All- No Doubt
Survivor- Destiny's Child
Sex & Candy- Marcy Playground
UNITY- Queen Latifah
All the Small Things- Blink 182
Loser- Beck
Buddy Holly- Weezer
Sabotage- Beastie Boyz
In the End- Linkin Park
Steal My Sunshine- Len
Everlong- Foo Fighters
Killing in the Name Of- Rage Against the Machine
Mo Money Mo Problems- BIG
Californication- RHCP
Chop Suey- System of a Down
Clint Eastwood- Gorillaz
Girl on Fire- Alicia Keys
Such Great Heights- Postal Service
Knocked Up- Kings of Leon
Miss Independent- Kelly Clarkson
Crazy- Gnarls Barkley
One More Time- Daft Punk
Hey Ya- Outkast
99 Problems- Jay Z
Clocks- Coldplay
Rehab- Amy Winehouse
Lose Yourself- Eminem
My Girls- Animal Collective
Same Love- Macklemore
Just Dance- Lady Gaga
Chandelier- Sia
see/think

Thoughts on Pragmatism as a life philosophy

I am way more pragmatic than society lets on females ever are. Practicality paired with some optimism are in every choice I make. Sometimes I wish things were more fair so I live in a world where they are, then life reminds me our ideas of justice have so much more room for development as a society. Ultimately I adore science and the diversity implicit in the universe. I strive for more understandings and equality because it is most reasonable to do so if one is to truly appreciate all the potential the human species has. I want to see our species thrive and we cannot do so without logic, diversity and justice. I am a pragmatic optimist. I want the whole world to fall in love with books and for white supremacy to be eradicated. I'm happy to be a drop in this ocean of humanity.
light, create, hand

Curtains

Higher powers
Grant me the Serenity
to Accept the things I cannot change
Courage to change the things I Can
and the Wisdom to know the Difference

Oh jeeze. I will be seeing a lot of people I haven't seen in a long time in the beginning of May.

______________________________________________

Closing and opening
we don't have wounds anymore
we have curtains.
There is a way in between yours and mine
Not everything is owned by a person.

So, what if I write you in my novel?
What if your heart pumps out words for me to mold and sing to you?
Change isn't written by us.

But the amount of love I have for you is enough
no matter how you feel
to circulate through me
for years
and keep my hands moving over this page
with this line
with the stories wanting to be written.
My eyes soften and my body falls into sleep without you
because I am heavy and tired.

The color framing center of my iris will keep on showing,
the strum of my hands over the keys will continue.
Reciprocity aside
I have a whole heart inside
producing all the sounds my lungs need to hear
thump thump thump
consistent
whole
full
between
the ins and outs of my breath.
We don't have wounds anymore,
we have curtains.
  • Current Mood: hopeful hopeful
  • Current Music: To Zion- Lauryn Hill