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Nov. 16th, 2014

Reg
I feel like crying but it's not coming.

There are so many WONDERFUL things the world is filled with that I've been missing out on while isolated in this unhappy relationship.

I don't seem to belong anywhere. I wish I was in Portland already.

How to Never Die a Happy Death

Street, Heartbeat, Lennon
You embrace malaise as if it is your destiny
You pathetic actor in a sad, unbearable story
Do the same thing, using people, never changing
Don't accept or question yourself
Never surrender to change and the presence of the divine

You are not here for you
You are here for something much greater than your thoughts
Much greater than your stupid mundane idea of happiness
Stop trying to be and control and determine everything
Your will is flawed beyond measure
Letting go is the best attitude to have when letting go

When one holds on so tight they are taking
The taking that happens as the finale to each lifetime
Is not our own, it is imposed by the universe
We are not here to take
We are here simply to give and receive

Nov. 2nd, 2014

Forest, beautiful purple sky, oxygen, biologically productive, widsom
When We're Dancing- Twin Shadows
piggie, oink, pig, Precious
I am going to miss the East Bay way too much. I really want this story done by the time Allie comes back. I set that deadline for myself and I think it is a good one. It can be done!!

I miss Jasmine and Abby in my teen days of sharing writing and being best friends. Having reliable writer friends was awesome, it didn't even matter that they were long distance and I met them over the internet. Man, I am realizing what a recluse I was as a teenager living in the boonies. I was happy on the internet more than I was happy in regular life. That is concerning. No wonder I don't like big social gatherings like parties...people just want to get drunk and high and I fail to get the point of such regular wasteful activity.

I am going to email my outline and first draft of this story to Audra. We will see if my Writer's Club goes anywhere. Shannon wants me to share some of my writing, too. That makes me dang nervous!

Nov. 1st, 2014

Forest, beautiful purple sky, oxygen, biologically productive, widsom
My life can be so fucking boring

Lol

Forest, beautiful purple sky, oxygen, biologically productive, widsom
Madeleine King: You're so dramatic
Alyse Toulouse: if he's not an asshole (i resent the derogatory use of "douche") then why doesn't he pluck his unibrow for the love of fucking god?
Alyse Toulouse: FACIAL HAIR AND SHAVED HEADS ARE THE NASTIEST THING SINCE VEAL

Xmas List for Alyse

Forest, beautiful purple sky, oxygen, biologically productive, widsom
The Crow Soundtrack
A purse
Bamboo earbuds

Music by the Decades

Reg
60s:
The Beatles, Simon & Garfunkel, Marvin Gaye, Janis Joplin
70s:
Led Zepellin
80s:
Metallica, Greenday, Nirvana, Bauhaus, The Cure
90s:
EVERYTHING. The Offspring, Live, Jane's Addiction, Eminem, Greenday, Live, Switchfoot, The Red Hot Chili Peppers, Alanis Morisette, Modest Mouse,
Since then: The Decemberists, Sia, Modest Mouse, Warpaint, Black Prairie, Of Montreal, Rise Against, Straylight Run, Le Tigre, The Yeah Yeah Yeahs.

Oct. 13th, 2014

Forest, beautiful purple sky, oxygen, biologically productive, widsom
I have way too much fear in my life.

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Forest, beautiful purple sky, oxygen, biologically productive, widsom
creation_is_air
creation_is_air

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